At which point, a reminder: the Premier League campaign is scheduled to end on May 28, 2023. Can any of us seriously hope to enjoy another 10 months of this nonsense? Let’s hope not: Ronaldo simply has to take a £350,000-a-week pay cut to sign for Nottingham Forest, who appear to be in vogue this summer. Anyway, is the bronzed Portuguese Adonis Ten Hag’s biggest problem? The Fiver would say that the continued failure to successfully lure Barcelona’s Frenkie de Jong to Old Trafford is potentially more serious, as well as evoking memories of David Moyes’s fruitless attempt to sign Cesc Fàbregas in 2013 at the ill-fated start his reign. Ah… 2012-13. This was the last year that mighty United won the Premier League as Alex Ferguson brought the curtain down on his 26-year tenure with one last title. Since then Moyes, Ryan Giggs, Louis van Gaal, José Mourinho, Ole Gunnar Solskjær, Michael Carrick and Ralf Rangnick have all been at the helm. It’s almost as if the United job has become a poisoned chalice. Along with Ronaldo-gate, the Ten Hag’s in-tray includes trying to muster an acceptable level of performance from Anthony Martial, the prospect of more protests against Glazer and a host of sub-standard centre-backs. Not to mention that Brighton, who handed United a memorable 4-0 thrashing at the Amex in May, come to Old Trafford on Sunday. Manchester United in crisis? Now that Fiver thinks about it, it might be. Good luck, Erik.

THE QUOTE OF THE DAY

“It is a reality. Racism exists. There are people who are racist who still promote the idea that having a different skin color makes you inferior… It’s hard for people who haven’t experienced racism to empathize. That’s how you explain, tell stories, things you’ve seen and heard, you suffer.” Wolves winger Adama Traoré talks to Sid Lowe about his experience of racism and why the knee still matters.

Bournemouth blazers, David Moyes’ new tattoos and all things Everton. It’s David Squires’ team-by-team guide to the Premier League season in two parts! Here’s hoping Seadog Potter becomes a regular. Illustration: David Squires/The Guardian

SUGGESTED HEARING

In the second part of Football Weekly’s big Premier League preview, Wolves fans finally get their moment – ​​after the podders preview nine other teams, of course.

FIVE LETTERS

“Wednesday night saw the return of the Hundred to the cricket schedule. It made me wonder if there would ever be a football equivalent: a version of the sport changed enough to annoy purists but not enough to attract new fans, a concentration of the best players on expensive contracts among a small number of elite clubs. Anyway, I see the Premier League is back tomorrow night” – Ed Taylor. “I’d like to let Z Snook know (yesterday’s letters) that there are younger Fiver readers – I’m one of them. But then again, I also enjoy old-fashioned terraces at non-league grounds and a pint of stout before the game” – Ed Bazeley. “Re: Ben Clay’s idea for a new slogan for the Lionesses – can I refer to the first three words on USWNT player Sydney Leroux’s Twitter bio?” – Steve Mintz. “Far be it from me to correct Noble Francis, but he is wrong to suggest that ‘all sane people should read the Great Site.’ In fact, they are all left-brained people” – Alan Webb. “The new EPL season hasn’t even started yet and Noble Francis has already bagged a Prizeless letter o’ the day award. Perhaps the prize should be renamed the Noble Piece Prize” – Alistair McGillivray. Send your letters to [email protected] And you can always tweet The Fiver via @guardian_sport. Today’s winner of our letter o’ the day giveaway is … Ed Taylor.

NEWS, BITS AND BOBS

Before Crystal Palace kicked off the new Premier League season on Friday night, Patrick Vieira encouraged the players to continue to take a stand against racism. “It’s good to keep taking the knee,” said the manager. “There’s a statement that needs to be made and I think it’s important that we continue to make it.” After defeat at Brentford last season, will there be more woes in the capital for Arsenal? “It’s different. Everything that happened before that game was quite strange and unique,” insists Mikel Arteta. “We’re really excited and we’ll try to start in the best way.” Mikel Arteta: excited. Photo: Paul Childs/Action Images/Reuters Steve Cooper expects Nottingham Forest to continue spending this month. “We want to enjoy it and be the best version of ourselves,” cheered Cooper, rocking a twenty-something in assembled hacks. “We want to act and behave like a Premier League team.” Everton manager Frank Lampard is testing West Ham fans’ love for him by trying to offload Amadou Onana (what’s his name?), with FLE matching West Ham’s £33m accepted bid and the player to learn about Goodison. Not so good news for FLE: Dominic Calvert-Lewin will miss the start of the season after suffering a ‘horrific’ knee injury in training. Anthony Martial will miss Manchester United’s opener of the season against Brighton after picking up an injury in training. Where on earth will Erik ten Hag find another dynamic centre-forward in such a short space of time? Transcripts aho! Carney Chukwuemeka completed his £20m move from Aston Villa to Chelsea, while Manchester City midfielder James McAtee joined Sheffield United on loan and Leeds’ Lewis Bate will spend the season at League One side Oxford. And David Seaman said the Lionesses’ Euro glory left him cat-over-heels. “It brought back great memories, watching the girls was amazing,” smiled Seaman at the National Cat Awards in London. Yes, you read that right. David Seaman with his wife, Frankie, ready to judge some cats. Photo: Ian West/PA

WANT EVEN MORE?

Manchester United fans should expect evolution, not revolution in Erik ten Haag’s first season in charge, writes Karen Carney. Cleo Scopelliti talks to coaches and parents about the issues facing grassroots girls’ football amid a surge in interest following England’s success at Euro 2022. It’s the penultimate day of Premier League previews – Southampton and Tottenham, the long wait is over. Andy Brassell’s Bundesliga preview is in and – spoiler alert – Bayern Munich will likely win the title. After years of relentless links with the English top flight, Kalidou Koulibaly has finally arrived at Chelsea. He continues his conversation with Ed Aarons here. Could Erik ten Hag pick up Hakim Ziyech from the bargain bin while Chelsea crush Frenkie De Jong on their trolley? The Rumor Mill checks it out. And if it’s your thing… you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace. AND INSTACHAT TOO!