Assessment: Irma Bepp Assessment: There’s a Luvvies story familiar to every old thespian, about the Shakespearean giant and incorrigible alcoholic Robert Newton, who rolled on stage one night, drunk as perfume. As the pickled ham slumped, drooled and chased away Richard III, a woman in the front row accused him: “You’re drunk!” An outraged Newton turned on her. “Madam,” he growled, “if you think I’m a mess, wait till you see the Duke of Buckingham!” Reality star Vicky Pattinson opens up about her battles with drink on C4 series Reality star and former I’m A Celebrity winner Vicky Pattison reminded me of this story as she opened up about her struggles with alcohol on Alcohol, Dad And Me (C4). Vicky liked a night out, she admitted. We’ve seen her downing limoncello shots with pals in a bar and clips of her loud and folky antics on Geordie Shore, the North’s version of The Only Way Is Essex. “I have a problem with alcohol,” he said. “I’ve abused it in the past and my heavy drinking has come out in public.” After a session in Marbella he ended up in hospital. If he was drinking limoncello, then I’m not surprised. This stuff is Fairy flavored liquid bleach. He must have an asbestos esophagus. Vicky was worried that, at 34, she should party less and prepare to start a family. But most of her anxiety centered on her 63-year-old father John — in her words, “a full-blown alcoholic” with cirrhosis of the liver. Afraid that he was killing himself, she was afraid that she would end up like him. But the harsh truth that emerged from this single documentary is that she is kidding herself. She remained convinced that if she could get her father to dry off, she would be okay too. This is a double delusion. John didn’t even pretend he intended to stop drinking, for her or anyone else. Alcohol has already cost him his marriage to Vicky’s mom. And saving him is a distraction, an excuse not to do the one thing she can do to save herself: deal with her drinking. Vicky completed a questionnaire with her father but did not ask herself enough questions about how alcohol affected her health. She repeatedly talked about feelings of anger and self-loathing, but didn’t consider whether the impact of overeating on her brain was making them worse. Instead, he recited therapeutic waffle about “feeling validated.” Carrying out this program has taken courage and can prove to be, quite literally, a frustrating experience for her. But comparing herself to her father or anyone else won’t help. There will always be someone who drinks more than you — a Duke of Buckingham. Oscar-winning actress Alicia Vikander can’t save the slow, repetitive and honest Irma Vep Hollywood actress Mira Harberg (Oscar-winner Alicia Vikander) can knock back wine, but her real addiction is Laurie’s domineering ex-girlfriend Irma Vep (Sky Atlantic). Laurie (Adria Arjona) was Mira’s personal assistant as well as her lover. Then she threw away stardom and married a great director. Unfortunately, the tense, complicated courtship between these two women, as power slips from one to the other, is the only interesting aspect of this pretentious drama. It’s French director Olivier Assayas’ remake of the 1996 cult hit and a perfect example of what happens when movie people assume they know how to make a TV series. Slow, repetitive, chatty, broken up into bulky scenes and shot with self-conscious gimmicks, it’s full of Hollywood jokes. Irma Bepp veers from silent film pastiche to romance, satire to horror, casually pays homage to dark films, and is extremely pleased with herself. Arthouse moviegoers seem to put up with this kind of plot, but TV viewers deserve so much more.
