After days of fine-tuning the library of his own streaming service, HBO Max, Warner Bros. CEO Discovery, David Zaslav, started killing today. Speaking to investors, Zaslav revealed on a Q2 earnings call his plans to combine HBO Max and Discovery+ into one big, mushy ball of content that will undoubtedly have no Batgirl movies. Let’s be honest: It’s never great, PR-wise, when they call the graphics or the language from these kinds of profits—which by their very nature boil all art and entertainment down to a thin sludge of financial credits and cons that they must always be fed. -Hungry Maw of The Investors—gen-pop for wider discussion. However, Zaslav’s presentation made for an extra special tease online today, specifically a slide that purportedly shows the differences between the two streaming services that will now be bridged by their upcoming unholy spawn. HBO Max, we’re told, is “male-skewed,” “scripted,” “busy,” “date show” and, of course, “home to fandoms.” Discovery+, meanwhile, is “female-skewed”, “unscripted”, “relaxing”, “comfortable viewing” and “house of genres” – which we’re pretty sure happens when a sci-fi classic slaps the old gender . jeans and gives you the Christian Gray treatment. The “fandom” vs. “genredom” thing is mostly unexplored, but we have a feeling that people usually wouldn’t have baked the slide too much if Zaslav hadn’t opened up with the whole “male slant” vs. “female slant” thing — especially since a) we can name any number of HBO Max shows with passionate female audiences (and vice versa for Discovery+) and, b) all the descriptors for Discovery+ seem precisely designed to annoy all of its passionate n-pop fans culture, like, say, people who actually care about your poor, struggling streaming service, David. Zaslav also posted a slide of the various items from the paired streaming services, including a “franchises” entry that includes Harry Potter, the DC Superhero movies, and, of course, the 90 Day Fiancé Universe, a vast cosmology of TV products about the wedding. people in less time than most people spend with a toothbrush. (Wait, we should be changing our toothbrushes more often?) Which is mostly stupid, but not necessarily bad taste. But never fear: Zaslav had a slide for that, too. In particular, he had one detailing all the alleged money-losing sins committed by his predecessors, including CNN+ (which has now also been absorbed by Discovery+). Humdinger, as it were, is this line item (emphasis ours): “Approved additional spending on projects with uncertain financial returns, including Kids & Animation, CNN+, certain Turner originals and select feature films direct to HBO Max .) God forbid a studio spends money on TV or movies with “uncertain financial returns,” but don’t worry: Zaslav has a solution. Here’s a quick tip, folks: If someone tells their investors they’re “restructuring” the “content portfolio” of your work, it’s probably time to prepare some cover letters.The company’s CFO confirmed later on the call that a decent chunk of the company’s kids and animation projects were on the chopping block. Amidst all the carnage, Zaslav and his team also laid out a timeline for the merger of the two services: We can expect them to relaunch as a single entity in the summer of 2023, with no name or pricing announced. The hybrid service is expected to come in both ad-free and ad-supported formats.
