The best course of action is to adapt to the mood of your hosts, which may feel boring or overly serious at first, but will help you avoid any social blunders. You might also be pleasantly surprised at how quickly the bouncer goes down once the drinks are flowing and you’ve proven that you have good manners. Plus, if you happen to make friends with a German, the bonds are likely to be a bit more authentic and longer lasting.
2. Be polite – and learn your Du and Sie
Outside of drinking contexts, be aware that like French and Spanish – and unlike English – the German language has formal and informal ways of speaking. “Sie” is used for official or formal situations such as talking to a stranger, visiting a doctor, dealing with service staff, and in general it is a sign of respect when addressing the elderly. “Du” is used for friends, acquaintances you may know well, or people you feel comfortable addressing informally, including younger people. Although many Germans are understanding when it comes to mistakes made by non-German speakers, the ‘Du’ that deserves a ‘Sie’ can cause a raised eyebrow at the least and insult at worst. If you’re not sure what to use, use “Sie”, but note that the corresponding verbs also change accordingly: the informal “Kannst du mir helfen? (“Can you help me?”) becomes “Können Sie mir Helfen?” in formal mode, for example.If a German speaker addresses you as “du”, then it’s a green light to do the same in return. Germans also place a lot of importance on titles, and people are expected to use them in formal situations, so if someone introduces you as Master Professor Doktor von Eierkuchen, be sure to use that instead of saying “Pass the salt, man? “. And don’t use Fräulein either. it’s considered sexist and passé, as is the French Mademoiselle.
3. Expect narrow limits when it comes to sharing personal information
In addition to being a little tight-lipped about personal space, Germans are also famously guarded about personal data, a cultural trait often explained by the intense surveillance regimes of the 20th century. German data privacy laws are some of the strictest in Europe, many Germans go to great lengths to opt out of Google Maps’ Street View service by requiring them to fog their homes, CCTV is nowhere near the same level as United Kingdom (a Berlin activist movement called Camover showed citizens how to subvert cameras) and official communications are usually sent by letter to avoid posting sensitive information online.
This reluctance to spill too many personal beans can also lead to painful cuts to small talk. Even if you keep the conversation vague instead of nodding off asking someone what they earn, how much tax they pay or what their exact postal address is, you might start thinking about waterboarding techniques just to find out what your new German is friend did at the weekend or what are his hobbies.
In a somewhat ironic twist not lost on us expats, Germans – especially older ones – are generally not shy about invading personal space by glaring at anyone they find different or strange. for hours.
