These are just some of the 100,000 Ukrainians who have fled the war in recent months and are now settling into new lives with host families in the UK. From finding jobs and schools to the challenges of adapting to a new culture, here four women living in London share their candid stories about moving to the capital.
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Ukrainians can be closed off about their emotions — our British hosts have helped my son and I open up
Maria Yarova, 38, a former Burberry executive from Kyiv who now lives in Westminster Former Burberry executive Maria Yarova, 38, is starting a new life in London with her son Alex, 13. / Maria Yarova When I tell the story of the last few months, I still can’t believe it’s my life. My son Alex, 13, and I lived in an apartment in the center of Kiev, right behind an area that had been targeted by several rockets since we left. A child died there in a strike just a few weeks ago. Even when martial law was declared, we didn’t believe it. It is the 21st century and we are peaceful people, war still seems like a threat. But at 6 a.m. on February 24, some family friends called to say the town was under attack. We packed clothes and documents and left for our second home, just 30 kilometers away in a small village. The city was a mess, people were running around to buy food, the streets were at a standstill, everyone was trying to get away. When we got there, it became apparent that we had left for a place more dangerous than where we were before. The army was there and there were rockets falling nearby. We stayed there for a week, then decided to risk it and leave, even though the many mines nearby made it worth it. I told my son what to do if he was alone – get his passport, stay close to the ground and get as far away as possible – and I saw how scared he was. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. We stayed with some friends in another city for two days and then stayed with some more friends in the Lviv area. At this point I had almost stopped sleeping. The sirens went off so regularly and I was constantly worried about my son. Maria Maria Yarova and her son Alex (right) with their British host family, the Gallaghers / Maria Yarova For Alex’s sake I decided to leave. I knew the English language and saw many supportive Facebook posts from people in the UK. I found a nice post from a family of five in London called the Gallaghers: Adam, a lawyer. Angela, school administrator. and their three children Sophia, 15, Alban, 12 and Natalie, nine. They looked smiling and happy in the photos and Alban was a similar age to my son. I could imagine us living with them. I couldn’t believe it when they said the room was still available. They wrote to me every day after that, helping with the paperwork. We received our visas three weeks later and all five Gallaghers met us at the airport, waving flags and welcoming us. Back at the apartment, they had balloons and a cake decorated in Ukrainian colors and cooked us a wonderful pasta bolognese for our first dinner. Everything we needed and more was laid out in our rooms: clothes, food, toiletries, flowers. Since then they have helped us learn about British culture, taken us to see a Saracens rugby match and surprised us with theater tickets and a boat tour on the Thames. It was Alex’s birthday right after we arrived and all five of them gave him a present. Angela was particularly amazing with Alex, contacting schools, doing his homework with him, helping him prepare for interviews at various London schools offering places to refugees. I’ll never forget the look on his face when he found out he had a scholarship to start at Whitgift School in September. He was in love with the school and its people the moment we walked in – he couldn’t believe how respectfully the children were treated there. It was always his dream to study and become a community like this. We are so grateful to the director and head of admissions for giving Alex a chance. Meeting such wonderful and supportive people helped our recovery immensely. Yarova says talking about their feelings helped her and her son feel better after the war / Maria Yarova It wasn’t all easy, of course. I’m worried about overstaying our welcome with the Gallaghers – they’ve been sharing their food with us since day one, which has helped us immensely, but they only started receiving monthly payments for our hosting last month and immediately chose to transfer these money instead. We were so excited. Alex and I get £200 a month in universal credit but I want to work and earn my own money, so I was relieved when I was finally invited to start a paid internship at Christian Dior HQ last week. I hope one day we can afford to rent our own place and let the Gallaghers live their lives. Cultural differences were also difficult. We Ukrainians tend to keep our emotions inside – we don’t always show it when we’re happy and grateful and don’t want to burden people with the pain of what we’ve been through, but British culture needs to be much more open and communicative, so sometimes our closed feelings can make us come across as rude. However, staying with the Gallaghers helped us. Alex and I are both getting better at expressing ourselves – I see the changes in both of us every day. My main request is that we are not judged by the British people. We may be getting better at opening, but I also understand that I’m a long way from being back to my normal self. I’m still sleeping rough, I’m still internalizing a lot of my feelings, and I’m still getting used to the culture. Most Ukrainians I talk to say the same. My primary coping mechanism was trying to let go. I’ve always been a planner, but the war showed me how quickly everything can be taken away from you. your house, your car, your property. Apparently rockets hit the 14th floor of our apartment building in Kyiv and our apartment is on the ninth floor so I had to make an active decision not to stress about the house or I will suffer every day and I don’t think I would survive. What all of this has taught me is that even when you lose all your possessions, education can never be taken away from you, so you can never lose everything. So my focus now is to give Alex the best education possible so he can build his future and hopefully one day help rebuild his country. We will always be Ukrainians. Hopefully one day we will be able to take our knowledge home.
I want to be a survivor, not a victim – moving to London feels like silver lining
Viktoria Zavhorodnia, 31, fashion executive from Kyiv now living in Brixton Viktoria Zavhorodnia, 31, now lives with a family in Brixton / Viktoria Zavhorodnia Before the war, I lived in a suburb of Kiev and worked for Ukrainian Fashion Week. I turned 30 last year and always dreamed of being a musician, so I bought myself a piano, found a teacher and started learning music last winter. Six months later the war broke out and I had to give up this dream. I thought about staying in Kyiv, but I couldn’t. I felt that my life there no longer belonged to me. When you live in a city that is bombed every minute, you don’t know which minute is your last. A friend and I left Kyiv two days after the start of the war. First we went to Lviv, then to Poland, then to France. Then when a friend in London texted me about the Homes for Ukraine program, I jumped at the chance. It has always been my dream to come to London. I am in love with its history, its culture, its language. I never thought I’d get the chance to move there, so it felt like a small, surreal silver lining to the war. It showed that even in the darkest moment of your life you can have the brightest moments. A month later, in mid-April, I got my visa and took the bus to London from Paris. It was my fourth move after the war, so it was difficult and stressful to adjust at first. But time heals. I moved with my family – Nadia, Tom and their daughter Fernanda – to Brixton six weeks ago and they made me feel like family. Tom’s parents were refugees from Germany, so he understands what I’m going through and that I need my own space. Viktoria Zavhorodnia says she loves London’s weather, food and culture / Viktoria Zavhorodnia As luck would have it, Nadia and Tom happen to have a synthesizer in their house so I can practice the piano. I am practicing Bach and trying to learn the Bohemian Rhapsody. I have also painted, presenting my work at charity events for Ukraine. Art made me feel refreshed and helped me realize that you can’t escape yourself, even when you’re running from war. I would love to start selling my art, do some photography or work in a music store to start making some money. Summer in Kyiv can feel like a sauna, but the weather here is perfect – not too hot, too cold or too rainy. The air feels fresh. I like that even at night you can take a bus to London, and I also like the food. the fresh salmon they sell at Brixton Market. British traditions like the Toad in the Hole. I can’t wait to cook my first Christmas pudding. I also love the British. Maybe it’s the fact that people are kind and I understand the language. But if I go to any other European country I always feel like a foreigner, but here I feel equal and the same. I’m lucky that I speak good English, so I’m not interested in joining those groups for Ukrainian refugees, I want to make friends in my own way and make my own circle. Now, the main challenge is mental in my head. I’ve always been a flexible person, but running away from war is like being a kitten…
