Age: Four. Status: Closed. This will require some unpacking. Really? Not following the story of Patrick, the Mayor of Cockington ponies and his fight with the local pub? I can’t say I have. Okay, we’ll start over. Do you know Cockington, the village in Devon? Vaguely, I guess. Large. Well, the residents recently elected a four-year-old Shetland pony named Patrick as their mayor. Now, the other thing to… Wait. What? Patrick the pony is the mayor of Cockington. The old mayor died so a pony was elected to take his place. There is nothing strange about it. Did he run into anyone? No, it was a one horse race. I hate you. Anyway, before he became mayor, Patrick was a much-loved figure in the village. She was a therapy pony, visiting various rehabilitation groups in the community and could often be found grazing in an ‘interaction pen’ in the garden of The Drum Inn, a pub in the village. Did they elect a pony for mayor? A pony? I already explained that, yes. Anyway, Patrick has now been banned from The Drum Inn. Because they didn’t like his policies? No dumbass. It’s a pony. It has no politics. The local council decided the pen required planning permission and had to be removed. Additionally, for Patrick to continue visiting the pub, the area would need to be reclassified from ‘garden’ to ‘official pasture’. But he is a mayor! Can’t he just bypass the council? No of course not. It’s a pony. But what makes it especially upsetting is that Patrick really loved drinking Guinness, so now he’s going to have to be deprived of it. I feel like I’m losing my mind. Don’t do it. Patrick the pony mayor of Cockington is far from the only elected official in the world. Really? Of course! Bosco the dog was mayor of Sunol, California for 13 years. In 2018, Sweet Tart the cat was elected mayor of Omena, Michigan. And in 2019, Lincoln the Goat became mayor of Fair Haven, Vermont, after a hard-fought campaign. Against a human? No, idiot, against a dog. It’s also worth noting that every elected mayor of Rabbit Hash, Kentucky, was a dog (one of whom was named Brynneth Pawltro). I feel like this actually makes things worse. Oh, lighten up. It’s just a bit of fun. Everything is so gloomy right now, why wouldn’t you want a cute animal for your mayor? Yeah, I guess you’re right. Although the council will rue the day they decided to cross Patrick the pony mayor of Cockington. This pony will get his revenge, in this life or the next. Say: “Patrick the pony has been banned from the pub.” Don’t say, “Maybe the board was afraid he was going to foal.”
